STRAIGHT UP WEDNESSDAY
Love is not NOT ONLY and NEVER when you ALONE in that relationship fighting or pleading to keep it real and alive.
Some people will free you if you wanna be freed or if they end up fighting alone and sacrificing for love or for you!
You are not God. Love ought not be selfish, stubborn and once in a while, do bend a lil over, be empathic towards the other person and compromise.
If the person frees you because you want to be freed or stops fighting because you ain’t fighting along or the excessive burden too heavy for them, they are not bad or mean people and I will not condemn or judge them either.
Yes-Love is when you BOTH do all of the above even if one person seems to do more. Love ACTUALLY is so much more than what you and I know (if you believe anyway) and what even the men of God wrote down in the bible. Love is more than words, culture or religious words.
I listened to some familiars issues of people, things I’ve gone through and stories of other people in the past and till now, I still strongly maintain the above as my opinions and even the ones below:
A smart thing for a man in love or something like love who is not financially okay and is over 29-40 years to do is propose, when she accepts, marry your dream girl and dream-life partner and dream-mother of your future kids, you both work, plan to have kids a year or two or so later too and NOT immediately with nothing/savings on ground. (Money actually matters but it is not entirely the only thing in the relationship or marriage veins)
It happens successfully if strong-willed and it is possible!
Must she wait decades and centuries for you in a relationship to propose?
Must she actually become engaged for outrageously, stupid number of years or just forever before you both get married at your own time and terms. Crap!
Then, if she leaves or discusses it or marries another man, you abuse the woman as heartless or slut or call her desperate. Absolute bullshit! Madness.
If you are serious minded, flexible/versatile and less stubborn, change jobs if YOU CAN and see if there’d be more open doors and brighter future in doing so.
Keep striving. Be less stagnant, close minded and conservative. Be open minded.
Listen to you, listen to her, listen to others, listen to your soul and listen to God. Throw the rest of advice and choices if full of crap to the trash can but by all means, listen, meditate, make a choice and act on it.
Don’t go settling for LESS for the rest of your life and waking up with regrets or managing shit, covering it with a 500 watts smile each day and dying of cancerous pains of what you should have done or what you did wrong to cherished people in your life. Moaning, whining in wards or crying over spilt milk, juice and rum especially when you knew what you were doing.
The lady must also work too not just because she wishes to work but to kick off idle minds, independence, balance LIFE healthily or ease off the depressive burdens of slaving to clean, cook and cater for you and the kids all alone (possibly with no help from you or anyone either) and most especially, she works to take the pressure off the husband who is not financially okay while you both save for old age or future.
Do keep your ego in check and let her help.
In fact, trash that stupid male ego that weakens you and destroys your life and the life of your loved ones. It will pay for a woman to think along these lines of working and helping and doing so respectfully too rather than expect the man to financially do every SINGLE thing for her and kids forever.
Change your mind-set ladies. Be a real woman!
Again, while you both marry and work, ‘plan’ NOT to have kids (of course we love kids, don’t get it twisted) after a year or two rather than immediately after your wedding. Trust me, it helps. My suggestion worked for some people too! Might not work for everyone.
Forget what people will say and what your over domineering mother or in laws will say. Do the above rather than keeping her or loosing her or bringing in kids when not ready. Don’t be weak. Don’t be confused. Don’t procrastinate. Be bold and strong! Be a real man!
They ain’t the ones in the marriage and the world talks, blabs, gossips and talks about everyone including dead people who can’t defend themselves anyway! Talk is frigging cheap. Just do what’s right and conducive for you two!
Furthermore, if you are truly NOT ready to date or marry but yet pursue and profess care, love or something like it and yet, deep inside you know or have a slight feeling that you will still leave her, yet you have your heart laid for other women or it yearns for someone else, or solely in your work, in your ‘mother’/family and their ruling over you or you have your heart and head in some addiction or vices, LEAVE her alone.
Don’t date or court her or profess or promise bullshit. Don’t abuse her if she ends it either. Just leave her in the first place.
Go find your kind or remain single!
Entirely same goes for the women too if y’all think you are left out. Same goes for women acting confused or pressurised or lying and all that.
Everyone’s got sense and brains but then, the heart and life can really be twisted by some and all of the above and then, messed up even for the smartest ones who thought they got life all figured out! Don’t complicate life of good or great people. Don’t murder their joys and peace.
I say these because of terrible stories in the past and present, shitty things happening to many people. The above is relatable even if it has never happened to you or close ones but just chew on it all. Y’all don’t know tomorrow.
*drops, pen and mic, catwalks away in studded stilettos glamorously.